Wednesday
Appropriate conversation
An exchange of text messages was read aloud at my office yesterday contemporaneous with the messages being sent and received. Dupe is not in my office, Funny Prick is.
Dupe: How's life since you left Company X?
Funny Prick (Knows he never worked at Company X): Pretty shitty.
D: Oh, are you thinking of leaving Company Y?
FP: Yeah.
D: Where do you want to go, Company X, Company Z, Company A?
FP: I'll work anywhere, I'm a whore.
D: If I'd known that, we could've had more fun last time we were out.
FP: I don't go that way.
D: Which way do you go?
FP (is now sure that D thinks he's talking to a female): I'm into bestiality.
D: Well some people call me a dog (Entire office cries from laughter).
FP: Well, what are you doing tonight?
D: Oh, going out with some friends.
FP: That's too bad.
D: We could get together late night.
FP: Maybe we should meet at a hotel bar, just in case.
D: Or we could drive back to New Jersey together and fool around in the car.
FP: What do you mean fool around?
FP: Say something to convince me to wait around for you.
D: You first.
FP: (I'm not actually sure what was sent at this point, because he didn't yell this one out, but I did hear a mention of an ice cream cone. I therefore assume it's something like:) I'll treat you like an ice cream cone.
D: Touch me! Please, touch me!
(No one can hear over the laughter in the office for about five minutes)
FP: I'm your dirty girl.
FP's cell phone then rings, a female person in the office answers, other end of the line hangs up.
D: I was just kidding, your nuts.
FP then calls D (who he sort of knows) to gloat, D says that the "dirty girl" line is what tipped him off. When FP asks D who D thought he was texting, D claims he thought he was texting his wife.
I work at an interesting office.
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Dupe: How's life since you left Company X?
Funny Prick (Knows he never worked at Company X): Pretty shitty.
D: Oh, are you thinking of leaving Company Y?
FP: Yeah.
D: Where do you want to go, Company X, Company Z, Company A?
FP: I'll work anywhere, I'm a whore.
D: If I'd known that, we could've had more fun last time we were out.
FP: I don't go that way.
D: Which way do you go?
FP (is now sure that D thinks he's talking to a female): I'm into bestiality.
D: Well some people call me a dog (Entire office cries from laughter).
FP: Well, what are you doing tonight?
D: Oh, going out with some friends.
FP: That's too bad.
D: We could get together late night.
FP: Maybe we should meet at a hotel bar, just in case.
D: Or we could drive back to New Jersey together and fool around in the car.
FP: What do you mean fool around?
FP: Say something to convince me to wait around for you.
D: You first.
FP: (I'm not actually sure what was sent at this point, because he didn't yell this one out, but I did hear a mention of an ice cream cone. I therefore assume it's something like:) I'll treat you like an ice cream cone.
D: Touch me! Please, touch me!
(No one can hear over the laughter in the office for about five minutes)
FP: I'm your dirty girl.
FP's cell phone then rings, a female person in the office answers, other end of the line hangs up.
D: I was just kidding, your nuts.
FP then calls D (who he sort of knows) to gloat, D says that the "dirty girl" line is what tipped him off. When FP asks D who D thought he was texting, D claims he thought he was texting his wife.
I work at an interesting office.
